self research

since i eagerly want to know who i am. i did study my behavior well recently. so here we go.

i am a right brained dominant person.
i see the world in my own unique way.
i make decisions intuitively.
i processes information in a rapid, spatial, and perceptual manner.
i concentrates more on emotion than logic.
i rely on imagination when finding solutions to problems.
i operate in a nonlinear, simultaneous style.
i tend to think visually-spatially more than verbally.
i do not have stable emotion control.
i don't really care for being around people.
i love to convince myself of things that aren't true.
i am constantly put myself down.
i always convince myself that i don't deserve anything good.
i hate compliments.
i often think of who i am, but only the negative comes to mind.
i am trying to match myself to an impossible standard.
i lie because i mistake it for the truth.
i believe others are lying to make me feeling better.
i cant stop from lying to myself.
i pretend to be all together but i barely breathing.
i tend to hurt myself on the inside.
i enjoy from helping someone in a sad situation or being a grief counselor.
i tend to feel secluded from others.
i have little confidence which doesn't help with socialising.
i am only extremely reliable if i want too.
i do not have rules of engagement.
i am aggressive in silent way.
i am persistence on something pay off.
i was one of society part although people may not want too.
i have a bold personality.
i likes things done all at once, and not in small stages.
i am self centered person.
i am reckless and easily manipulated by situation.
i do have temper problem.
i always wanted to be protected,loved, and adored.
i enjoy most of my time being alone or in small group.
i easily turned into "cold" mood when depressed.
i tried to see the good in life but have fallen short.
i am a bit out of norm.
i am pissed off that people won't accept me for who i am.
i often said to be rude but it's the way of who i am.
i hardly cry and only do when i am angry or badly hurt.
i am one rebellious person.

there! some of the facts that i've found. its far complicated actually. :)

the real word

many people ask me why i'm colder now. well. this is the real word why.

"when ever the damn girl walk in and out of this little heart. they left me rubbish which i can't forget. so many till i can't heal my heart anymore. like it or not. i have to dump this stupid pumping flesh which people called heart. it's vital isn't it. not anymore. i've replaced the whole heart into an engine. 2500cc. which a lot bigger. no more room for those romantic thinggy. it's all about grinding the engine. i've almost died in recent accident. and i love the moment where i've save my life rather than saving a girls life. i love it more when i'm scared to death rather than scared of losing someone. i love the 8.0 seconds of a race rather than a single second of kissing a girl. i love a car more than a girl now. gay? is it? or just being a guy. thats what i am into now."

"i never will care for another damn girl. they all might be happier than before. i know. i'm a burden to them. i've break their heart. and so are they. who ever care about any stupid heart. they might. but i'm not. not anymore. i dont have one. so go on and laugh if you want. i know its really funny. hahahaha. laugh as long as you want. but i don't give any damn things anymore"

"ya. people said. i cari pmpuan mcm cari kasot. ya! i do. i cari pempuan tok isi hati yang kosong. bila ia hilang aku cari yang baru untuk ganti lobang kosong kat hati ni.thats not love? then? what the fuck is love. stop! i never want to know. coz i dont want to. the more i know. the more i suffer. org ckp cinta sampai mampus. ya. aku da mampus. korang semua buat. puas hati korang? xcukup lagi nak cakap aku yang salah? teruskan sampai kiamat. aku salah! aku sundal! aku sial! apa lagi?! cakap puas2! gelak puas2!"

" i'm talking this not to any ex. but to anyone. i want they see how deep the last relation teach me. how far all the relation have dragged me into hell. how hard they hit me to the floor. perempuan semua pikir aku senang datang dan pergi. kau baru hilang sorang laki dah mcm apa. aku. dah hilang berbelas perempuan dan cinta. tapi apa hasilnya. ia ajar aku. cinta sesuatu yang cukup rapuh dan tak bawak untung!"

"what ever u felt when u lost someone. multiply them at least 15 times. and then you know how i'm doing now. i'm far greater than u can ever archieve. try it. and u'll know how deep the scars. then u'll know how this heart being crushed a lot. my fault or anyone fault. the feeling of losing someone is almost the same. and i'm facing it every 3 to 6 month. got to strong enough standing here. now i'm not standing. not even running. i'm sitting. not waiting for anyone to come and hug me. but sitting for driving. as fast as i could. so every pain could draft away. just like the smoke came out of the exhaust. i'm faster than you running away or walking away. i'm driving. worry of me dying? stop giving that hope. you. and all of you out there. you stabbed me with the sharpest knife."

"now i'm bleeding. draining every inch of adrenaline gone. if i'll die. i want to die with something fast. not something that slaughtered me slowly. you left me in such pain. all of you. and blaming me. such noble gift from someone who devoted his heart to. thanx to all girl. you all really shaped what i am today. thanx!!!"

"the end of me"

unstable

caution: highly unstable emotion

final result!

UNIVERSITI TEKNOLOGI MARA BAHAGIAN HAL EHWAL AKADEMIK 40450 SHAH ALAM, SELANGOR D.E. istudent.uitm.edu.my PENYATA KEPUTUSAN PEPERIKSAAN Perhatian: 1. Keputusan adalah tertakluk kepada kelulusan Senat. 2. Sebarang pindaan di penyata ini perlu dimaklumkan kepada Dekan Fakulti/Ketua Pusat Pengajian dalam tempoh Dua Puluh Satu ( 21 ) hari dari tarikh penyata ini dikeluarkan. Nama Pelajar : MUHAMMAD SYAFIQ BIN MOHD NOOR No. Pelajar : 2008247784 No. Kad Pengenalan : 910613145919 Alamat : NO 59, JLN SP 2/7, TMN SUBANG PERDANA 40150 , SHAH ALAM , SELANGOR Kampus : C2 - UITM KAMPUS KUANTAN Fakulti : LW - FAKULTI UNDANG-UNDANG Kod dan Nama Program : S / PI005 - ASASI UNDANG-UNDANG UITM Bahagian : 3 Semester : 20094 Peperiksaan : OKT 2009 Tarikh Keputusan : 12-11-2009 BIL. KOD KURSUS NAMA KURSUS KLASIFIKASI JAM KREDIT * GRED KEPUTUSAN KURSUS 1 BEL332 ENGLISH FOR PRE-DEGREE LAW I K2 3 B+ LU 2 BEL342 ENGLISH FOR PRE-DEGREE LAW II K2 3 B LU 3 MTC087 INTRODUCTION TO LAW III K1 3 C+ LU 4 MTC088 CONTEMPORARY GLOBAL ISSUES K1 3 A LU 5 MTC099 ECONOMIC ISSUES AND PROBLEMS K1 3 B LU JUMLAH NILAI KREDIT JUMLAH KREDIT PURATA NILAI GRED SEMESTER INI 46.98 15 3.13 SEMUA SEMESTER 147 45 3.27 KEPUTUSAN PEPERIKSAAN TM(TAMAT) CATATAN TAMAT * PETUNJUK GRED A+ : 4.00 A : 4.00 A- : 3.67 B+ : 3.33 B : 3.00 B- : 2.67 C+ : 2.33 C : 2.00 C- : 1.67 D+ : 1.33 D : 1.00 E : 0.67 F : 0.00

Perhatian:
1.	Keputusan ini adalah untuk makluman sahaja dan tertakluk kepada sebarang pindaan.
2.	Keputusan ini tidak dianggap rasmi dan tidak boleh digunakan untk permohonan kerja, melanjutkan pelajaran atau urusan-urusan rasmi yang lain.

the gpa drop was slightly lower than i would expected as minimum gpa. but since not repeating any paper. guess i can smile. i heard almost half of the campus is repeating paper. whatever it is. i've done my part there as best as i could. and never fail a single paper. proud of it. XD

till the day come

someone said to me
"girls for pussy"
someone said to me
"girls are a ghost, they come and go"
someone said to me
"girls worth nothing more than a glimpse"

and i said back to them
"girls are nothing different from us. liar"

(written as this heart bleed as being dumped again and again. fcuk.)

kenangan di sekolah... ;)

Bila cikgu panggil :


Bila kena hadiri kokurikulum :



Bila dapat homewprk dari cikgu :


Bila tengah cari idea untuk wat karangan :


Bila homework yang cikgu bagi susah nak buat :


Bila otak jam... :


Bila meber banyak songeh dan berlagak pandai :


Bila meber tukar fikiran saat akhir :


Bila cikgu suruh stdy lebih masa :


Cikgu suruh datang skola waktu cuti ada tuisyen :



Bila dah terbuat silap pada omwork yang cikgu bagi :



Bila homework disiapkan dengan jayanya :



Bila homework gagal :



Bila dapat CUTI :


HAPPENING!!!

senaman

ianya di ambil dari blog blogs.myspace.com/dollyweha. ni ala taichi sikit la... sebagai intro dan warming up.. tiru la macam ni... untuk melegakan bahu dan leher.. wa..wa.. aaa gerak kekanan kemudian ke kiri.. gerak ke kiri kemudian ke kanan ikut je ler... jangan terpusing kepala udah la.. tepuk kuat kuat kat dahi.. ni untuk hilang mengantuk.. dah tu buat gerakan tangan dan badan... buat macam happy aje.. kemudian goyang2 kaki dan badan sikit... buat macam takde masaalah... buat secara aggresive pula... jangan peduli apa orang lain kata.. tengok muka kat cermin sambil goyang2.. lawa tak... SELAMAT MENCUBA.... ;) *haha..lawak giler dowh weha! ;)