Wednesday, September 16, 2009

losing another level


recently i was losing my sanity.
i've become cold,quiet and rebellious.
it's not that i'm liking it.
but i'm moving towards it.
i was so out of the mood.
it's like everyone was turning back.
it's like everything was fading away.
so i guess i just turned away from all this nonsense.
the more i think,care or love.
the more it's hurt.
so i'm leaving.

to dearest father:
"save your penny for other siblings. i know i'm not your fav. i'll pay back if you want."
to dearest mother:
"cry as much as you can. coz after you gone. it's me who will cry for you. not them"
to dearest sister:
"you the smart ass around here. you'll figured out someday who i am"
to dearest brother:
"you take care of this family one day. when that day come. i'm out of it"
to dearest family:
"i know i'm the youngest. but it doesn't means that i'm the one to be fooled,controlled and judged around here. i've been enduring to survive in this house. why? because everytime i get in. there'll be something wrong relating to me. and the worst part. i don't give a shit about it. i talk,shout or do what i want. deal with it or fold me out. and i'm strongly oppose the quotation 'my home,my paradise'. simply because paradise is nothing near that i can be. i'm burning inside this house. coz no one seems to understand me. "

and then i would like to say that.

"supposely i should respect all of my family. but as long as you didn't. i'm ain't giving any shit."

------------------------------------------------------------------
to all followers who given award,raya card and etc.
i'm not going to post it here on my blog.
but i do kept it on personal external hardisk.
really appreciate them. thanx.

5 comments:

ZARA 札拉 said...

be strong~

and u need to believe that u can do it~

aRien de GreaT said...

sabar granulz...rsanya hmm..ni gelodak jjiwa remaja...pe yg granulz alami ni smajer cm adik arien..die pun rsa cmtu..pape pun..wish u the best...

akuKah.. said...

setuju2..
"my house, my paradise"..
tat's bullshit...lalala

Anonymous said...

duh..if lack of manners,will always be lack of manners.should be grateful that you had been born and alive til today

granulaz said...

and you should be grateful anonymous. coz until today i don't trace ur ip and kick you in the ass. asshole. if you have manners anonymous. you should talk like the others. it simply seems that you don't have the manners. you are such a scared person who feel satisfied with bringing someone mentality down. i ain't going down bitch. to anonymous. go see yourself in the mirror. and then you might saw what's you really are.